Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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