Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
