I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
