She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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