Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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