he shaved USA in his pubs
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
