you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
