Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
