This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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