People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
