So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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