Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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