Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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