So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
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