I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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