Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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