Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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