Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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