normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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