Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
