Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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