he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
