I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
