do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
