I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
