Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
