Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
