you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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