i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize