I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize