Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
