just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize