I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
When did angry sex become our thing?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
