I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
