just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize