Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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