Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
