He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize