I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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