quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
