Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize