I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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