Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
