she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
