so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
