Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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