You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
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