When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
