Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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