1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
