If i come over, it means nothing
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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