she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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