Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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