He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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