her vagine was all disorganized.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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