we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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