i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize