My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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