yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
