This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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