No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Someone shit on the floor
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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