The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
