i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
