he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
