Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
