p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
