You really coming over, don't trick.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize