thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
