I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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