I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
